All I have to do…

Posted: October 4, 2012 by Harry Moonbeam in getting in to the swing of it
Tags: , , , , , ,

Coffee.

I need more coffee. Black and strong, none of that weak stuff. In fact forget the water, that only dilutes it – just give me the jar and a spoon. Mmmph. Mmmph, ‘as better. Yeah, much better. Mmmph.

You’re eating coffee? Are you alright?
Never better.

You look a bit wired. You’re plugged into a video recorder?
I’m trying to keep a clear, wide-awake head.

Oh, you’ve had another one
of those dreams?

No, this one was different. None of that trying
to run with legs like lead, or going out in public without any trousers on; no, none of that low-budget independent stuff. This was a proper full-on dream, no expense spared.

Okay. Good. Right, what are we going
to talk about today?

Hang on, don’t you want to hear it?

No, talking dreams is boring. They’re only interesting to the person who had them.
Not this one. It had everything: it was action-packed; explosions and fireballs – loads of diving out the way; cutting-edge technology – faster than fast cars full of gadgets, driving well over the speed limit down impossibly narrow and twisting streets through the biggest pile of cardboard boxes you’ll ever see; exotic locations – like fantastical places you never imagined existed; the baddies we were up against were really so bad they were downright rotters, zombie rotters to be precise, but we got ’em; AND, and there was romance – Angelina Jolie, Kiera Knightley and some unknown called Hilary from Accounts; there were guest appearances by Pitt, Depp, even Sir Michael Caine – what was that funny line he said… it was classic, had us all in stitches, an absolute classic… erm… no, it’s gone, never mind. I’m telling you, this dream had everything, and more, a brilliant story: there isn’t enough money in the world to pay for all the special effects it had.

Okay, that sounds vaguely interesting, no wonder you’re wired.
Y
ou know what dreams are like: one minute you’re living it, it’s all so real; the next minute the alarm clock goes and everything evaporates. Pooft! Gone. This one’s still fresh in my head, I don’t want to go back to sleep in case I record over it.

Is that why you’re plugged into a video recorder?
No, me and The Boi were trying to work out how to get the dream on to DVD, I reckon we can sell a few.

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