Archive for July, 2012

HOW LONG CAN YOU GO WITHOUT..?

Posted: July 26, 2012 by Harry Moonbeam in Early days yet...
Tags: , , ,

I’ve just worked a whole month without sleeping.

Is that wise?
No, it’s stupid but lucrative, think of all the overtime.

But aren’t you self-employed?
Yes, you’re quite right. They do say that sleep deprivation impairs your judgement. There’s been a lot of bad decisions made when tired such as… as…

Have you ever woken up driving?

Impaired memory is also a symptom of extreme tiredness.
WHY ARE YOU ARGUING WITH ME???

As are Mood swings…
Where are we? Was I still talking? What is that bloody great spider doing
in the corner of the room?

As well as disorientation, loss of short term memory, hallucinations and of course…
Why are you asking me these questions? Who are you really working for?
You’re trying to steal all my ideas.

Paranoia.
I am not paranoid. There is nothing wrong with me, I’m fine.

Famous last words.
Yawn, I’m just a bit tired is all.

When are you going to listen to anything I say?
In you dreams, sunshine, in your dreams.

What you need is a good long rest.
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Right, where does he keep the ideas?

EVERYTHING IS IN THE WRONG ORDER

Posted: July 19, 2012 by Harry Moonbeam in Early days yet...
Tags: , , , ,

The Boi’s had to rearrange everything ‘aat back’ in the warehouse since the new supplier delivered the new stock, and when I say new, I mean stuff even I ain’t never seen before. Who’d have thought it?

little boxes

It’s in which box?

What sort of ‘new’ stuff are you talking about?
Oh allsorts, we got some bizarre thoughts; random thoughts; popping questions; elephant’s memories; distopian dreams which were a bloody nightmare;  a shedload of ‘spatial awareness’ we’re having trouble
fitting in anywhere; oh, and some original thought.

I’d be interested in having a look at the original thought, could I?
No, I’m afraid not, you see, we couldn’t understand it
so no punter’s going to be able to, are they? It’s a poor seller, original thought, way ahead of its time. We’re going to have to store all that until it goes mainstream, then sell it off quickly or else the only thing it’s good for is old hat. We only do stuff for the inside of the head,
not the outside. So, you see our precarious situation.

You can’t return any of it?
I’ve lost enough money already, what with having to shell out for some deep containers for the philosophical thoughts they chucked in as well. You know.. I thought, therefore I was… no, it’s gone.

I don’t care, show me an original thought!
There’s some in that box by your feet.

Which one? This one?
No, not that one. In that one, the sky-blue thinking box.

Where, let me see!
No, the other blue! Don’t open that…

Aargh!! My hands are on fire, fingers of flames leaping like cobras at a rave party, spitting venom into my burning eyes, the sockets of which are dark and have no end. No end in sight, my vision is gone replaced with an awareness of everything in the fourth dimension, colours I’ve never seen before, sounds I’ve never tasted and smells I’ve never touched. Help me, help me before they suck the sky from my morning breath.
Yes, I’m sorry, that was a box of vivid imagination you opened there. We seem to have mislaid the original thought.

What about this leather travelling box with a handle on it: Utopian dream?
In an ideal world that would be the case, but someone seems to have put all the wrong labels on everything.

So where is the Utopian dream?
I suppose we’ll just have to keep on searching, won’t we.

mind clearance offer

Get your thoughts in order!

PRE- and AFTERTHOUGHTS

Posted: July 12, 2012 by Harry Moonbeam in Early days yet...
Tags: , ,

”Oh yeah.” A phrase uttered without care or conviction, “Oh yeah.”

That, my friends, is a typical afterthought, used almost like a full-stop punctuation mark, the moment has passed, it’s no longer important, move on. That is why the past is littered with mistakes and broken dreams that cannot be fixed – left in the cupboard of history with the hope that one day they will magically work again.

watch tower, look-out

There should’ve been a picture of something relevant here.

They won’t, what you should have…
Ah-hah! That is another frequently used afterthought, a regret – “I should have…” replaying an incident (often stressful) over and over, trying out all the alternatives, hoping to reach a more satisfying outcome – I should’ve done this. I should’ve done that. You should’ve done so at the time, because now all you’re doing is just torturing yourself with ‘ifs’ and ‘maybes’. Sometimes it is really best
to move on.

Are you saying afterthoughts are redundant?
Look, there’s a general lack of responsibility these days, very little afterthought but we are seeing a rise
in pre-thought.

What’s pre-thought?
Oooh! You’re showing your age there. You should’ve pre-thought before you asked that question because now you’re just going to look silly (and old). Pre-thought is the process that goes on before a thought has even occurred. It’s the preparation or laying the groundwork for thought. You see, if thought is like an exam, then pre-thought is the mechanism of sitting at the desk, sharpening and setting out your pencils, pens, a rainbow array of felt-tip markers, lucky mascots and so on, until the phrase: “You may start,” is uttered which is the analogous point for when the actual thought begins.

Isn’t pre-thought the same as experience?
Hmm, well… there’s a subtle difference but I can’t explain it to you. It’s something you have to learn for yourself.

Then how will I know if I’ve got and understood pre-thought?
Because you’ll have a distinct lack of afterthought.

Oh yeah.

mind clearance

Are you pre-thinking what I’m pre-thinking? – leave a comment!

ERM…

Posted: July 5, 2012 by Harry Moonbeam in Early days yet...
Tags: , , , ,

I’m not sure I should tell you this, but in the depths of the warehouse is a dusty old box we keep meaning to open. We know exactly what’s in it, at least I think we do. It’s a box – I say box, it’s more of a container. A sort of boxy container, so I suppose it could be either, or both, I don’t know. Anyway, it’s big. It’s a box. It’s a big box – OI!
Are you going to ask any questions or am I doing this all by myself?

No, I mean yes, I wasn’t sure what question to ask. I was going to ask you something, wasn’t I?
Oh yes, what’s in the box?
Indecision. It’s a big box of indecision and I think you’ve been at it, haven’t you? You’re dosed up to the eyeballs
on indecision.

There is no third option
– a door is either open or closed.

I cannot lie, (or can I?), the door wasn’t locked: I didn’t know whether to shut it, open it or, or…
There is no third option, you can only open or close a door, but that’s a philosophical discussion for another time, what worries me
is that you’re implying that the door to the big box has been left open, allowing the contents to ecape, which means that there’s indecision everywhere.

Do I ask a question now?
That explains why Europe’s dithering over the Euro and why that customer over there has been ‘umming & ahhing’ over which idea to go for. We need to rectify this asap. Where’s the Boi?

He said he wasn’t sure if he was working today.
I’m not sure he works any day!

Wasn’t I supposed to ask a question?
This is great! You don’t know if you’re talking to me or not; the Boi’s not sure if he’s coming or going; the customers aren’t sure whether to spend any money – and all because some twerp left a big box of indecision wide open. No wonder the world’s in such a state. We gotta sort this out.

What we need is someone to actually make a decision.

Who’s that?
Me, you vague fool! There, I’ve made a decision.

What is it?
I’m ending this post before it gets any worse.

What are you doing now?
Starting it up again. Is that door still open?

mind clearance

Don’t let indecision get the better of you – leave a comment!