Posted: June 28, 2012 by Harry Moonbeam in Early days yet...
Tags: , , ,

A lot of people have claimed to have had their ideas stolen. I know how they feel, it’s happened to me loads of times. Only just the other day we had some bloke in the shop, bold as brass, stuffing his pockets with all sorts – we knew he wasn’t going to pay.

How did you know this for sure?
Instinct. I could tell by the subtle shiftiness and the size of his pockets. I weren’t going to let him get away with stealing neither; he thought he couldn’t be seen doing it but we had evidence of his crime.

CCTV is a part of everyday life.

You have cctv?
Well no, sort of, we’ve got a work experience kid from the job centre but it turns out he’s useless at everything but drawing,
so we’ve employed him as a camera. That’s him sitting in the corner there – puts the thieves right off.

You employ him as a camera? Isn’t that a bit Victorian, like using boys to clean chimneys?
He’s happy. It’s not contravening health & safety, and everyone’s got to start their working life somewhere.

But he’s doing the job of a machine.
Well, it’s lucky the robots never formed a union then, ain’t it.

But will his drawings really stand up in court?
Look, you’ve seen those regular court room drawings, the ones done in pastel? Well, his are much better than that – he uses more colours, everything has sharper edges and with the added bonus of audio. Look.

It’s a speech bubble.
Filled with what you’ve just said. Are those the words you’ve just said?

Yes, but..?
Well how accurate is that? I tell you, he’s watching you like a hawk, so don’t try anything.

Well done lad, keep it up.

But why hasn’t he drawn you?
I’m not the one stealing things. That picture of you will look nice on the wall.

Which says ‘Rogues Gallery’, it’s a case history evidence wall but I haven’t done anything.
You’re framing me!
Alright, alright, I’m hardly going to put a paper drawing on a damp wall without a frame, am I? Anyway, what are you worried about? If you’ve done nothing you’ve got nothing to fear.

There, that looks lovely.

Be smart and honest and get your own ideas.
Don’t see yourself in the Rogue’s Gallery.

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