Posted: May 30, 2012 by Harry Moonbeam in Early days yet...
Tags: , , , ,

‘There are more questions than answers’ sang Johnny Nash in 1972. The 70s, a different era then, usually dismissed today as ‘less enlightened times’, as if they were bloody medieval or something. Personally, I’d say the 70s were the more optimistic times because it was an age of innocence – there really were more questions than answers, it was a fact – I know, I was there. But then came the information revolution and suddenly we had answers for everything.

They say the 70s were to blame
for bad taste.

Isn’t that progress?
You would have thought so, because people were ticking off lists, drawing lines under things, finally the human race could ‘move on’ intellectually.

But, as the saying goes, ‘a little information can be a dangerous thing’: just because you’ve got answers, doesn’t necessarily mean they’re right.

We were told the wrong answers?
In fairness it depends on what the real question was. What you’ve
just said is more of a statement with the intonation rising at the end
of the sentence.

The question was, and still is: Were we told the wrong answers?
Which is my point exactly. If you don’t ask a proper question, how can you expect a proper answer? People were so greedy to know all the answers that they didn’t really listen to the questions; that’s how we ended up in this state.

How can we tell if you’re telling the truth?
I’ve got proof – The Boi uncovered a load of half-arsed answers ‘aat back’. To begin with we thought we only had initial answers but then came a flood of educated guesses, stab-in-the-dark attempts, clutching at straws and some hesitant answers we weren’t sure what to do with.

What did you do?
Well, everything was all mixed up so we had to separate the answers out into short ones, long ones, best ones, worst ones, good ones, bad ones, flakey ones and shaky ones, the quick-fire answers and the plain old totally wrong answers – that’s a lot of answers to get through, we’re short of space as it is.

What use is a totally wrong answer?
Everything has a value, except maybe for those that the Boi left stacked up against the wall overnight. That bleeding damp! But he reckons he can dry them out on the radiator.

Isn’t the cost of ethical disposal prohibitively high?
As I’ve said before you can’t just chuck these things away, they won’t biodegrade by themselves, as Bob Dylan hinted: ‘The answer my friend is blowing in the wind.’ That’s right Bob, it’s not worth risking the fine. So, as we’re living in an age of greeness, it’s cheaper to offload the answers at a loss.

Who would want such a thing?
The random answers we sold to a load of hecklers going to a comedy club, the unintelligible ones were picked up by some bloke who likes to shout at the commuters on street corners. We got rid of the rest of them to first-time parents, kids are always asking questions, it’s easier to have a stack of answers to hand. Keeps the kid quiet.

Has anything you’ve done solved the situation?
Well yes, we’ve now got a lot more space, we’d pretty much shifted everything. Then we suddenly remembered the damp lot by the radiator, well, they’d dried out alright but they were warped. I thought we were going to have to get rid of the lot which would have wiped out all the profit but the government stepped in at the last minute and saved us.

Who paid, was it the tax payer?
I don’t know. No doubt, questions will be asked in the houses of parliament. What I do know is that you won’t get a straight answer.

mind clearance


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